Birthdays, Procrastination, Charlie Sheen and Astrology
I was recently doing what I usually do when I procrastinate, sitting in front of a screen wasting away the hours, convincing myself that every second was somehow research.
Research on life, research on the universe, research of funny cats or 15 tabs of pornography all going at the same time.
My porn brain is like Johnny 5 from Short circuit. I could read 15 books in a minute. As long as they were mucky books with sex in them.
But on this one occasion I wasn’t doing any of these things.
I wasn’t researching space stuff on wikipedia. Black holes…2: Bigger and blacker, The Big bang gang or Debbie does Uranus (Thats pronounced: Youranoos now so there’s nothing funny about that) *Sigh* I’m sorry.
No – on this occasion I’d decided I was going to look up famous people throughout history that shared the same birthday as me.
Why?
Because it was my friends birthday today and he shared the same birthday with people like Charles viii king of France, Michael Phelps – professional swimming man and Cheryl Cole.
It was like I imagined that if I found someone interesting or cool with the same birthday as me, I would feel as if I contained some of their power, like some kind of bloodline thing without any of the actual blood or genetics involved.
This was the world of Astrology. The world like some sort a giant clockwork mechanism, where the stars alignment and gravitational pull has real effects on the human psyche. As it did with the waves and the moon, was I part of some higher force somehow connected to someone famous?
Someone like Charlie Sheen perhaps?
Yeah that’s right, I found out that I shared the same birthday as Charlie Sheen.
September 3rd.
I was expecting more.
That was pretty much it.
There were alot of composers between the 14 and 1500′s, that I’ve never heard of.
Some writers, Fearne Cotton (T.V Presenter), A politician and Eric Bell (Guitarist from Thin Lizzy.)
What I noticed was that all of these people had job titles and descriptions of what they did.
Khabib Munir: cosmonaut, Shaun White: American snowboarder and Jean-Pierre Jeunet the French film director.
That’s when I noticed Alain Locke from 1866… His description simply read ”famous African.”
It didn’t specify as to what he was famous for and if anything it merely suggested that he was famous for just being African.
Was this the first black man ever discovered? In 1866? Really?
I decided to look up Alain LeRoy Locke on Wikipedia. Not only was Alain a “writer” and “philosopher”, but apparently he was also an educator and patron of the arts.”
This guy sounded pretty cool.
Now considering all this “research” I was doing, wikipedia said that Alain was born on the 13th of September 1855.
Not only had the website historyorb.com witheld – No.. No, I mean – lied to me about the job description and birthdate of Alain Leroy Locke, but now my whole alignment to the stars was nothing but a disconnected untrustworthy pile of shit. Me and Alain were no longer astral bro’s.
Astrology was dead to me. At least in the terms that meant I would never be prepared to have Charlie Sheen as some kind of inner spirit guide. It wasn’t enough…
Where would I turn now for my continuing research into the meaning of existence?
Maybe I’ll try some cocaine.
